The Traveler’s Curiosity
Total Time of Reading: Bold text only 1.5 minutes. Entire article: 4 minutes.
The Traveler’s Curiosity
Ever feel like your dating life IS AMAZING when you’re traveling? Ever feel that you are your most natural self when you travel? Ever feel like “if I only lived in _______ (some big city) everything would be much easier.” Well if you have, then this post will be of interest to you…
There’s a certain being that attracts attention most all the time. They turn heads consistently. They get conversations to pause and observe. They make some of the toughest people feel, and they make most all lady’s melt… I’m talking about a young child.
Think about it. What makes a toddler, so capturing to our eyes? Not all kids are cute, yet even the non-cute tend to have the same effect. The way they look at the world anew in almost every moment. Their sense of adventure and lively curiosity. Their complete immersion in their own reality.
Yet, interestingly they start to loose that magnetic pull as they get a little older. Seemingly around the time that their curiosity and wonderment is replaced with shyness. The glisten in their eyes gets replaced with worry and cautiousness. They’re still cute. But they loose that ability to make the whole room pause to pay attention.
Their sense of wonderment and exploration seems to draw us to a feeling that seems so at home and slightly dream-like. Fortunately it’s an attractive quality all of us are born with (we just have to navigate our way back to it).
This attractive quality, when found in adults, is what we call the Travelers Curiosity. Years ago, when I was in my hometown trying to attract women, my success was rare. I would fail to keep their interest, fail to introduce myself to women that I wanted to talk to.
I felt as if women that were “right for me” or “my type” were rare. It seemed even more rare to find one that would desire to share a coffee date with me, let alone my bed. Yet, the moment I left the country. Things would change…
I would get to the airport and instantly it seemed I would begin to run into women that were attracted to me. Interesting people would pop out left and right. I would have the ease and confident ability to approach women I desired. Conversations would flow and adventures would amazingly unfold. I enjoyed life more.
At first thought, I was assured that other destinations were just better off than my hometown. I thought the women in these other states or countries were more “my style” and of my heart. Yet interestingly, when returning home, this smooth streak would continue on for a little while…
For about two weeks after returning I would find dates with ease. People seemed drawn to me and everyone at home seemed so beautiful and interesting. It felt as if the world was opening to me. The first week would be amazing. Week two would begin to loose its luster. Then week three would come, where I would find myself where I left off, unsuccessful with women and wishing to be out of the country.
After noticing my success continued on for a bit after my trips, I realized that it couldn’t be the location, it had to be something that the traveling was creating in my character. I started to notice how travelers in my hometown would talk of it in the same way. They found wonderment, success and attraction much more easily when they were in the state of traveling.
The more I picked it apart, the more I realized… It was unhindered curiosity. Pure authentic curiosity.
The type you feel in your body instead of recognize in your head. It’s that state you were in as a child where everything is new, adventurous and beautiful. That feeling where your interest in exploring your curiosity was greater than your cautiousness about the repercussion.
When a person is authentically interacting socially in this state of overwhelming curiosity, everything seems to run smoothly. They make friends easily, they find amazing experiences and opportunities. They see the beauty in others rather than the imperfections.
When someone is truly in their curiosity, they don’t have to work to get over their fear. Their mind is consumed by a different focus. A focus of exploration.
Ask yourself, when was the last time you were in a state of overwhelming curiosity? When was the last time you let your mind gravitate towards what was interesting in everything around you (rather than finding reasons why everything is imperfect)?
When was the last time you were consumed in the fun and adventure of something? A time when you’re curiosity and sense of exploration could be felt in your body more than recognized in your mind? Is it rare for you to be in this state? The more you can authentically get yourself into this Travelers Curiosity, the more life will open to you.
So how do you know if you’re in it? When it comes to interacting with the opposite sex, you know that you are in the travelers curiosity, when you are almost smirking or smiling in wonderment about the other person. You feel it pulsing through your body instead of just being a mental knowing. You don’t have space in your head to worry about if it will go well because you are consumed with questions that inspire curiosity rather than fear.
It should feel like you just stepped off a plane into another country, eager to play, explore, discover and simply follow your curiosity.
As a practice, start asking yourself questions that bring about a state of Travers’ Curiosity. Keep working questions through your mind until your curiosity is taking over. What can you become more curious about in this moment? What assumptions about your surroundings are holding you back from really exploring what intrigues you? What are you assuming you understand that you might not? What limiting assumptions or predictions have you made about that attractive person you keep looking at (yet you claim is not your type)?
Men and women are so defensive now days that curiosity is often one of the first things I have to help them reestablish for their dating life to build off of. Beyond curiosity being helpful in getting past fear, It’s essential in initially learning how to get past rejection…
People respond defensively when they interact with someone that seems to be judgment towards them? Half of the men and women that go out on dates in this decade do it with an attitude of “it is what it is”. Apathy my friends is never attractive nor welcoming.
So to help give you a kick start. I’ve made a PDF file that you can bring with you as well as a flash card series (available on android and iPhone) to help you step into the mindset of curiosity more. To access it, just type your information in below to be able to receive them both via email.
From the man that likely has your back more than you do: