So you can seduce. Big deal… Or not?

An amateur can undress a woman’s body. Only a true man can also open her heart and spirit.

“You know, sex isn’t that big of a deal…”

I presumed the person talking had an inactive and dull sex life. The truth is, most of the time someone is negatively speaking about sex, that is the case. (their sex life isn’t any good).

HOWEVER! Years later. After expanding the frequency, depth and volume of my sexual life, I started to uncover some truths that existed within that statement.

The best part about uncovering these truths was that it gave me the room to find what was even better than “just sex”.

Welcome to your sex life part 2 (more like phase 5 or 6)…

In the beginning, “getting laid” made me feel validated and really excited. At the time, “more sex” was probably the 2nd thing I would have asked for if a Genie gave me 3 wishes. Nowadays, it’s the 222nd wish (rough estimate).

Rarity has an interesting effect of raising the value of most things…  Sex is really high on your list of “amazing experiences” when you are living out the average man’s sex life and seductive ability (6.6 partners in their entire life and very little control over who he can date/attract).  You’re doing the math in your head now aren’t you??? That’s not a good sign…


In such conditions, just undressing a sexy woman that wants to have sex with you is AMAZING!

Yet after having that experience hundreds of times over, it loses its crack like cravings. When this happened to me it wasn’t because I grew too cool for women or sex. It was because:

  1. Within an abundance of great experiences, you uncover a few unbelievably beautiful experiences (each of which raise the bar in some way).
  2. Within an abundance of great experiences, you uncover some very unfortunate and scary experiences as well (each of which gives you a reality check).
  3. When you attain what you always thought you wanted, you realize it’s not everything that matters. This gives you space to focus on other important areas of life (your legacy, health, family, emotional abundance, intellect, character, etc).
  4. I no longer felt like I had to effort in every opportunity, because opportunities were now very common due to the continual development of my “Seductive Integrity”.

At this point I began to crave other, more enriching things. Some of which I didn’t realize were possible. Most of which I would have never truly developed in my life.

Such things like:

  • I started developing a way to seduce that rarely left me feeling like I put myself at physical health risk on some level or another.
  • I started prioritizing not only having sex, but in having the experience feel like a healing experience for myself and the woman I was with.
  • I started wanting not just to evoke sexuality out of a woman, but to also evoke vulnerable intimacy and the greatest form of her current character (even if the woman knew it was just for a night).
  • I started wanting to attract a much higher quality woman and experience.
  • I started alleviating any feelings of anxiety around sex. Leaving just the fun.
  • I started learning more about my sexual desires and sexual style.
  • I started wanting to make the woman value the memory for her life, rather than just for a few nights.
  • I started wanting to ensure that women were enjoying who they became in their memories with me, rather than just enjoying the night they had with me.
  • I started wanting to ensure that I didn’t just seduce, but I did so while maintaining 100% of my integrity.

In short, I started learning that:

    • An amateur can undress a woman’s body. A man of Seductive Integrity can also open her heart and spirit.
      • An amateur will willingly bend his true self in order to seduce. A man of Seductive Integrity can, and will seduce, while maintaining his integrity.

        • An amateur can give a woman orgasms.  A man of Seductive Integrity can give her release, liberation and/or the feeling of being truly seen.

          • An amateur grows defensive and/or loses interest in sex. A man that can seduce with honor, sees the values in safely exploring the depths and edges within it.


          So is it true that “sex isn’t that big of a deal”? No. Sex is a bigger deal than you likely realize! Yet interestingly the more of it you have, the less you remember that you need it. Your sexuality is similar to air, ignore it, or have little of it, and you’re approaching a form of death. Have all that you need, and your mind may start focusing on other necessities. Which often times gives room for more growth.

          So ask yourself: Are you the type of person that tries to say “sex isn’t a big deal” because in your experience it is really difficult to conjure and control? Have you lost interest in sex, mainly because you never became curious enough to truly explore and expand it in the first place? Have you held on to false beliefs that you were taught in the past that tell you sex is shameful most of the time? Have you learned to govern the quality, frequency and spirituality within your sex life? How can you expand the desire between you and your lover while ALSO expanding truth and integrity? What is the next level of integrity based sexuality that you want to reach?

          Feel free to send in a question or topic you would like to see us talk about to

          From the man that likely has your back more than you do:

          Ander Adams Seductive Integrity & Relationship Design Mentor of the Vimbasi Warriors

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           Clarity Call4

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