Kissing – From a woman’s mouth

Kissing Woman Vimbasi

K – I – S – S – I – N – G 

So much about sexuality is subjective, and unfortunately kissing is the same. That being said, there are some easy ‘rules’ to follow and some red flags to avoid to ensure that your partner is also enjoying your make-out sesh. A lot of kissing (and sex, really) is about body language, and being able to pick up on where your partner is leading you. Women are very subtle at leading, so it’s important to pay close attention to her. Kissing is like the appetizer for the full course meal that sex will be. So if you’re not kissing her “right” she knows she’s going to go home and have to get herself off.

Women are Like Transmissions: If You Go From 1st Gear to 4th, You’re Going to Stall. 

I cannot tell you how many times I have gone from light, tender close-mouthed kisses to all of a sudden he’s trying to wriggle his fingers down my pants for some finger blasting. Dude, chill. I get up and walk away every time. It’s okay to be excited for a sexual experience, I mean – shouldn’t you be? But at the same time, women need time to warm up and welcome the experience. You need to bring her to that moment and taking your time to lead her through everything really helps.

Ideally, when transitioning form a close-mouthed kiss to “French kissing” you should just slowly start to part/open up your mouth and see how she responds. 

It’s important to get her ‘permission’ in a way BECAUSE let me tell you about my first kiss. I just wanted to give him a peck, and the next thing you know his tongue was shoved all the way in my mouth unexpectedly. I was so shocked I turned my head and he LICKED MY ENTIRE CHEEK. It kind of scarred me and to this day I can’t actually look at tongues. It grosses me out. I also gag and want to barf when I see drool or spit. 

Let Her Establish the Boundaries and for the Love of all Things Sacred, Stay Within Them. 

I would love to say I’ve only had the appalling shock of someone just licking my face once but life, my dear, is full of surprises. I personally try really hard with my body language to communicate that I don’t like something, but still want to kiss my partner with my entire physical self. Pay attention to your partner!! Have they moved their body away from you with their face still leaning in? Did they jerk their head back? Or are they loving everything you’re doing and basically sitting on your lap?

I am super big on letting my hands travel while making out – I like to play with their hair, leave my hands on their chest, hold onto their shoulders and even run my hands along their back. I pay attention to how they respond, and if they lean into my hands I usually travel there with my kisses next. You can kiss more than their face, my friends! Honestly, neck kisses get me every time. A soft kiss on the neck just makes me melt into my partner, and I have no control over it. 

Another thing I do is, again because of my past with tragic slobbery face licking, make it obvious when I find a kiss “too sloppy.” I will lean back, and wipe my face in front of you and do an awkward “buddy, chill” smile and come back. Most guys laugh and apologize and it’s no big thing and we progress and have a great time. Some guys don’t get the message and continue to kiss me as if they’re a basset hound staring at a bacon strip. Don’t be that guy. 



Miscellaneous “Don’t’s” I Don’t Have a Catchy Title For 

Duck lips were a photo trend that unfortunately shook the globe to its core. It’s cousin is what I have dubbed “booty hole lips.” “Booty hole lips” is the shape of your lips when you’re waiting for your partner to kiss you and you’ve prematurely parted your mouth a bit. It doesn’t look like a seductive kiss waiting to happen, it looks like a booty hole. For some reason, it just weirds my friends and I all out. 

Your teeth should be in your mouth. Not in my mouth. This has been a PSA.

Soft nibbles biting the lower lip are sexy and hot and fun and groovy. But trying to eat my lower lip as if it’s a piece of bubble gum hurts and please, please don’t. If  you want to learn the threshold, just bite your own bottom lip. The amount of pressure that hurts you will definitely hurt your partner, so avoid that. 

Make sure your mouths line up! Some people have small mouths, some people have big mouths. Mouths are all shapes and sizes just like the rest of humans and it’s super fun and awesome. The tough part is making sure you’re not literally eating someone’s face. Which I have accidentally done (sorry, Rob.) Having your entire mouth engulfed by another human being isn’t what I would call a turn on, so if you start to feel nostrils you have gone too far. 

Lazy kissing is an international tragedy and a cause I will make cardboard signs for. If you kiss me lazily, you will later on have to lazily lotion up your own hand if you know what I mean. Lazy kissing to me means not a lot of excitement, and your tongue just hanging out in my mouth for too long. If I am singing “twinkle twinkle little star” while your tongue just chills in my mouth, it’s a no from me, dawg. Either move it around and explore, or shorten your time up a bit. Because honestly everyone’s own tongue is already a bit too big for their mouths so having another one in there is too many tenants in the rental unit.

At the end of it all, a good way to know if you’re a good kisser is painfully obvious: Just ask. There is no problem with saying, “hey, am I kissing you the way you want to be kissed?” Because who knows, maybe you both are really into face licking and can just go buck wild. 

Happy smooching!

Dawn – Vimbasi Female Facilitator

If you would like to work with Dawn and develop your awareness in Seductive Integrity. Send us an email to


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