Can YOU improve your dating life? The 3 basic checks.
You don’t want to get 5th place in your love life. I’m sure you don’t want 2nd place either, and unlike grade school, your dating life will not issue any trophies for “good effort”. If you dread the thought of settling you’ll want to read this article…
This post will give you insight on your likelihood of success. Are you spinning your wheels? Is your dating life or love life likely to change?!?
Can you improve your dating life? Truth be told, not everyone has what it takes to improve their dating life. Even many of the people that believe they can and are actually putting in a bit of effort, are simply spinning their wheels. Though that may be rough to read. I’d rather keep this post real, and in turn, actually helpful to you.
Do you stand for creating a more passionate love life for yourself and your partner?
Well if you say “YES! I do!” Then you better FAR exceed everyone around you in the follow 3 base level checks. Understand that just like most people don’t remove bad health habits, eat well and workout, yet they still believe they deserve great health… The common person has delusional expectations of attaining a great love life without having the BASICS required to earn it.
In each of the following areas, you need your friends to be able to say that you far exceed everyone in these categories. This is because we all tend to think we are better off than we really are, and being better than the common person isn’t saying much…
The most basic foundation for your growth comes down to C.I.P.
The common person is a skeptic. The wise and forever growing person has way more curiosity than they have skepticism.
As Einstein said: “If I had an hour to solve a problem, I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.” Are you looking for the right questions to ask prior to finding the right answers? Are you constantly coming up with new questions, or are you simply living life as a skeptic and know it all?
Rather than defending your ego and your current situation, work offensively to expand it in a honorable way.
For example: become the person that is always willing to ask the vulnerable questions that most people are not courageous or curious enough to ask. In relation to dating, love and understanding the opposite sex, this means talking to women about love, seduction, dating etc.
It means becoming a student of love, women and social patterns, rather than living as an observer at best.
Even to this day, I carry around with me a list of questions about multiple subjects that I have ready to ask. Even to this day I read books regularly on the subject of dating, love, passion, sex, emotional well being, manhood etc. (at least 60 a year).
Start becoming curious about the things you desire. Replace the resentments with a willingness to learn more. In time, your curiosities will bring you to the solutions that will drown out your resentments.
Want to learn more about the opposite sex and what they are attracted to? They can become some of your greatest teachers if you are simply willing to vulnerably ask hundreds of times.
Note: just like a good scientist, ask each question hundreds or thousands of times to many different people so you can uncover the deeper truths and rhythms. That is LITERALLY how Vimbasi Female Psyche Lessons have been created. I still to this day interview women.
Investment: Are you investing in your growth in the following ways?
- Courage: aka taking action, actual experience, being vulnerable, being willing to struggle through your frustrations, facing the difficult truth, having the difficult conversations, willingness to fall in love again after falling out of it, trying new approaches after many “failures”, etc.
- Time: aka not wasting time on dating apps, time studying, actually cutting out time and space in your life to go meet the people. If you’re in a relationship this would involve spending quality time with your lover.
- Money: aka hiring mentors, purchasing books and programs, going to seminars, paying money to be able to get into the events and venues where you are most likely to meet the people you most want to date. If your fashion sense is horrible and you are out of shape are you investing in improving it? If you’re in a relationship this entails paying for the two of you to have an adventure from time to time, forking out some money to make a romantic date that much more amazing, etc.
- Habit: aka making habits out your investments and efforts, working to become a better person and not just a better date.
- Thought/Insight: This wraps back around to curiosity and it ties into the 3 part of C.I.P. Are you willing to be the curious student rather than the common skeptic?
- Yourself as a person: The definition of Vimbase is about being a fully passionate person instead of being a person that’s begging lovers to bring them passion. Are you investing in yourself as a whole? People will not be very passionate about you if you aren’t passionate about yourself.
As David Foster Wallace points out in his speech This Is Water:
“There are these 2 young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way. Who nods at them and says “Morning boys. How’s the water?” and the 2 fish swim on for a bit and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes “What the hell is water? The point of the fish story is merely that the most obvious and important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about.”
You are the fish. Your limited perspectives, false beliefs, and current patterns are the water.
Do you have the ability to see women, yourself, your actions, lack of actions, results and lack of results clearly? Often times we are most blind to our own self and our own conditions.
If you think you know yourself completely then you most definitely do not. Remember that often times people outside yourself can reflect back to you some of what you are not seeing.
This is why being in our programs is so effective (we reflect the truth of your situation back to you). Perception is one of the hardest things to give to yourself when you are so immersed in what you are trying to see.
This is also why every Vimbasi Mentor also hires mentors and coaches himself/herself. Growth is incredibly difficult when you are living blind to your real problems and only focusing on some of your surface level symptoms.
This in itself is why we offer the Vimbasi Evaluation for people that cannot afford our more in depth programs. Simply to give perspectives that you likely to stay blind to.
Curiosity Investment & Perception isn’t only important for getting your ideal dating scenario or ideal relationship. C.I.P. is required for you to grow your relationship into much more profound levels. The moment you drop C.I.P. is the moment your relationship is guaranteed to stagnate and thus decay.
The moment Curiosity Investment & Perception is dropped, reasons for why your girlfriend or wife decides to leave you will build at an alarming rate. Prioritize forever expanding these 3 habits in your love life, and your love life will continue to expand.
If you’re a person that lives with Warrior Wisdom you might also realize that living with these 3 habits are beneficial to all areas of life. Make C.I.P. a core part of who you are.
From the man that likely has your back more than you do:
Ander Adams Seductive Integrity & Relationship Design Mentor of the Vimbasi Warriors